Missingno 151
by Honest Lunar Raven
Summary: WARNING! A Glitch has occurred! A Wild Missingno! has appeared! Data Corruption! Error! Essential Data Corrupted! Searching for a Solution. Solution Found. Importing Compatible Data. Overwriting Corrupted Data! A Wild Mew has appeared! That is a good thing, right? The former Human disagrees. Human turned Pokemon! OC-centric! Smarter!Ash Extremely AU!


Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. If I did, then Flygon would be a Bug/Dragon Special attacker with a 600 stat pool. Too specific?

* * *

Dear Journal...

Oh why lie to myself?

Dear Diary... Not as though I lack the Pink for it to be unfitting now...

Day 0? Month, Who Knows. Year, I have no clue.

I'll just go with 0:01 for now... as that seems morbidly fitting...

Waking up is never a very fun prospect at the best of times. Usually, my morning ritual involves a lot of pleading, compromising, and wasted effort against a formidable foe. Unfortunately, my alarm clock is very much unsympathetic to my pitiful plight and without fail wakes me in such a violent method that I would, on most days, compare it to a slap in the face.

Today was not most days.

Today I was _physically_ woken with an _actual_ slap to the face.

...though I would like say that that was the worst of it, today was just Really not my day...

I wish I could tell you in the overdone cliche manner, that it had started like any other day, or that I 'immediately noticed that something was wrong' or some bull-crap like that. But the 'Powers That Be' apparently decided that after attempting without success to wake me from my traumatized state for a good five minutes, and yes, they only tried for five minutes the impatient bastards, that I would be better off not remembering exactly what happened. They did explain it to me though, and that all lead up to my current situation...

I'll go ahead and say this now for anyone who gets Lucky/Unlucky enough to go out like I did:

DO NOT EVER SASS OR BE SARCASTIC WITH THE POWERS THAT BE! JUST DON'T!

That is exactly how I pretty much 'wasted' the golden ticket to the chocolate factory I was given in compensation for my death, and how I am now... *shudder* ...I will get to that in a bit, because unless I explain what an idiot I am, I don't think you will really understand what a horrible, Horrible situation I'm in.

I'll just try my best to regurgitate the... well, not conversation, because he... it? It never really talked, but... it did... sort of... It was more like projecting ideas than anything else... Anyway... I'll give it speech that I think fits what it 'said'. Also, if it wasn't obvious, I am writing this after the fact, so I am applying what I learned later to better structure the conversation to make it make more sense. It was much more confusing at the time...

It went about like this:

*Slap* (Yes, a formless god-thing slapped me, I am still unsure with what though...)

"Wake up Soul. I have other things to be doing"

I woke up of course, because otherwise I couldn't be telling you what it said.

"The Hell!?" I screamed, floating up in a fury that only those forcibly awoken can properly attain. I'm censoring myself to that just in case anyone young is reading this. I used a much more colorful vocabulary, not that I really think it mattered to the god-thing.

"Finally! See, I told you removing the memories would make the glitch stop!"

The first God-thing's ideas were along those lines, and it sounded very proud of itself.

"Yes, yes, now hurry up! See what it wants! We have another fifteen souls that got caught up in your mess, if you didn't forget! At least we know how to fix them now... Finish up here and join us with the rest quickly."

That was all I heard from the other God-thing before it left to who knows where by method of How-the-hell-should-I-Know?

I looked at the source of the 'voice' and... well, I literally can't do a very good job explaining what I saw. The general shape was a gas-cloud that was frothing and changing shapes and colors randomly and violently.

Basically it was something I imagine Luna Lovegood would adore.

"Right, Soul, since we are short on time, I'll try to explain this simply. Please don't make too much of a fuss or I'll have to shunt you to VOID for a little while until I have time to deal with you."

I don't really know how to better describe the whole VOID thing, but the concept the God-thing gave me was enough to get me to pay attention and do my damnedest to not freak out.

"You died."

Clearly the god-thing should have won an award for it's ability to gently break bad news to someone.

...That was sarcasm... which I again advise you to NEVER use with these things if you meet one!

At this point, I wrongly assumed that I was dreaming, and for some reason, the God-thing didn't see fit to correct me. Maybe it thought, correctly I might add, that I would be more forthcoming with what it wanted if I thought that, but whatever.

I nodded my head, which apparently it understood somehow as agreement, and asked it how I died. I've had those kinds of dreams before, and how I 'died' usually tended to be amusing. I once apparently got 'buggered to death by a dragon' thank you Fanfiction!

The God-thing seemed to get a bit embarrassed and answered, "You died because we messed up. The world glitched it a few places. Most things were okay and we just fixed them and put them back to normal, but a few Souls were on the borders, where the Areas overlapped momentarily and erased everything in those spaces. While mundane objects were easy to recreate, the Souls lost their bodies and the World didn't register them as dead. Because it still registers those souls as 'alive' we can't put you back into the World. Thus we have out current predicament."

I blinked in amazement. Hell, I'm even doing it again now at how ridiculous that sounds just reading it. It made it sound like the times I got disconnected in online games, but my character was still logged in and I couldn't get back in because of it. If I had been taking it seriously, I probably would have mentioned that eventually those games would log the character out, but again, I thought I was dreaming... so... I of course decided that my dream had come up with the best death scenario yet and rolled with it to see what I could come up with next.

"Well, that is unfortunate... I'm usually far more lucky than that... So what are you going to do with me? What do you do with the dead usually?" I blinked a bit and remembered them mentioning something I should probably look into getting the answer to. "And what the heck did you mean before when you uh... erased my memories?"

It sort of stared at me for a fraction of a second and ignored all but my last question. "The glitch corrupted your SOUL DATA. Unfortunately, at the moment of your Death, you were awake and experienced being everywhere and nowhere all at once for a brief moment. When we brought all of the lost Souls here, none of you were responsive due to the overload. I fixed you by forcibly processing the overload and repressing it."

Well THAT wasn't at all concerning or anything.

"Since we can't send you back, and we can't access the DATA we usually need from you due to the CORRUPTION, I need to ask you a very important question."

It stared into my Soul. Get it? I was a soul? and it stared into me? I kill myself.

...this is why I'm a bad person...

"Who is your God? If you have one, of course."

This right here was where I first screwed up. This is the first instance where the combination of my snark, belief that I was dreaming, and my willingness to screw around bit me in the rear.

"Why, Arceus of course! The creator of all!"

At least I didn't answer with 'All Hail the Helix Fossil', Arceus knows what absolute Hell That would have gotten me into.

The God-thing apparently understood that, or got the idea from my mind and understood what I meant that way.

"Very Well. May your god deal with you now."

"Wait, what?"

Darkness.

Being forcibly accelerated past the speed of light from a state of motionlessness through what felt like a brick wall will generally do that to you.

* * *

The next thing I remember was waking up in space surrounded and being silently stared at by Arceus, Giratina, Palkia, and Dialga.

I think it is important to mention: you know the sizes in the Pokedex and how everyone makes fun of them? It's really justified as far as I am concerned, because these guys, aside Arceus, were MASSIVE. That they were all hyper realistic and not at all animated and practically Radiating power did Not help.

I am not ashamed to admit I screamed like a little girl. The giant dragons did not appreciate me screaming in their faces and reciprocated.

"Silence."

We could not have shut up any faster. Seriously, the mere concept of anyone ever catching Arceus is now LUDICROUS to me. I will straight up start laughing at the sheer arrogance and insanity of the very idea now that I have been face to face with a true god. Which Arceus, or at least this Arceus, very much is. There was no commanding or demanding inflection on that word, it was not yelled, and it was not a request.

It. Just. Was.

I would like to add another friendly bit of advice: Do NOT try to piss off a god. Ever. Bad for your health that.

Arceus looked sort of like what the Pokemon games depicted him as, but neither those, nor any of the best fan art I had ever seen ever came _close_ to capturing just how... Holy, I guess, Arceus looks. Almost like a cross between a sacred relic, an idea, and a being all at once. There was no 'aura' of power around Arceus like the other three, at least not that I could feel, but it was not needed. The very Idea of not listening to Arceus was insane, let alone fighting 'him'.

Arceus looked _into_ me and actually growled.

Everything in the Universe lost six stages of attack.

"Those lazy, incompetent, uninspired _builders_! Do they _ever_ try to actually fix their mistakes? NO! They just pass them off onto whomever they can and move on!" Arceus grumbled. Somehow making it majestic. I don't really know how myself.

Arceus looked to me and sighed, "You have questions." he tilted his head slightly, "And a few misconceptions that need to be cleared up. Then we can decide what to do with you."

I started to wonder where the heck my 'crazy dream' was going then, as it was getting a bit too serious for my liking.

Arceus' gaze gained a sympathetic inflection, "No Soul, this is no dream. You _were_ truly dead, or at least as good as, thanks to one of those incompetent _builder's_ mistakes..."

I feel that I should defend myself by saying that I have many times in the past, had dreams that did their best to convince me that they were not, in fact, dreams, so I decided to play along again. "Okay... I was dead. You said 'were' though specifically. Also, builders?"

Arceus stared for a moment and then shook his head slightly, "You will accept the reality of the situation eventually..." Arceus considered my question for a moment, "The builders are an odd existence, one I cannot fully explain as they existed before Me and Mine, but I know what it is that they do, mostly. They create, and they 'fix' things when they go wrong in what they created."

I'm not totally sure how Arceus managed to inflect finger quotes for that "fix", given his complete lack of said digits, but he did it... Quite impressive.

"Though I believe I should clarify. When I said that they fix things, what I unfortunately meant is that they hoist them onto the first being that they can find and then cease existing. It makes fixing what they 'fix' rather impossible... even for true Gods such as myself, as We are bound to our own realities."

I frowned at that. That really doesn't sound too good, now does it?

I quickly nodded, wanting the dream to get to a fun part. "So, I'm stuck here?"

Arceus nodded, "In essence, yes."

"Father."

I had actually forgotten that I was surrounded by giant dragon-god things until the surprisingly feminine voice of Giratina cut in. Honestly, that should have tipped me off that I was not dreaming, since if I was they would have ceased existing once I stopped paying attention to them, but whatever. I'm allowed to have dense days where I reject reality. I just picked a bad one to do it on...

Arceus nodded to 'her' and she continued. "The soul is clearly not going to believe that any of this is real until proven otherwise, can we just get along and place it already? I'm sure everything will resolve itself afterwards. If not, a little chaos could be fun anyway, right?"

Even now I can practically Smell the smug evil grin that was at the end of that sentence, but the stupid me could only see 'her' as the answer to my prayers. My basic thoughts were along the lines of 'Finally, someone who makes sense!'

Vocally, I just agreed with 'her' wholeheartedly, which... seemed to somewhat annoy Arceus.

"I don't particularly care if you believe this is real or not. I don't even mind if you were joking when you named me your God or not! I Will do what I can to make certain that you, as one of my followers, intentional or otherwise, is taken care of when I can assure it! Once you are Placed, there will be few opportunities that I will be able to do much to help you further!"

I fully regret my response, and resolve that if I ever somehow get into this sort of situation again, that I will treat it with the utmost seriousness. Or Siriusness, if it applies better based on the universe I get dropped into.

Anyway, my response of: "I Just want to have Fun!" was probably not a very responsible one and is largely to blame for where I am now.

Largely. Not completely. You know how everyone claims that Giratina is the 'devil' pokemon? I might have to agree, but make a slight addendum. Giratina is the Devils-advocate pokemon. Or possibly the troll pokemon. I'm still deciding how hard I'll have to clobber 'her' the next time I meet 'her'.

Anyway, 'she' cut in there and sealed my fate. "Well then! I think we have reached a conclusion! The Soul wants to have fun Father! So Soul, how would you like to be a Mew?!"

I just blinked at the rather frightening visage of a widely smiling Giratina.

"Whose-a-what-now? Mew?"

Arceus sighed, which I now realize was probably 'him' realizing what was going on and pitying me for getting caught up in Giratina's games. "Yes Soul, you may have been tossed here by the irresponsible actions of the builders and lost your home universe, but you can be reborn. Here you can live out a full life however you see fit, and I can make it so that you get the life that you desire. You could live the life of a Pokemon trainer, an Aura Guardian, a Psychic, or any other you can think of!"

Giratina cut in with a "Or the life of a Mew!" which was silenced by a slight glare from Arceus.

The Reality-rejecting ignorant me considered the options as so:

'Finally! So that's where this dream was going! Well, I've never been a Pokemon trainer in a dream before... but... there was that dream where I was Yveltal... That was fun... A Lot of fun... Wait... Mews can fly. In SPACE. Whelp, that decides how I'm spending THIS dream!'

I nodded and told them that I wanted to be a Mew.

It's worth mentioning that among my few fears is now Giratina smiling That Hard and Acreus Glaring That Hard. Or at all. Goes back to my rule about not pissing off Gods.

Arceus shortly replied with a "Very well... But you do not understand that for which you are asking!"

My glib reply of "Ohhh yes I do" was highly unnecessary.

Giratina managed to get over the actual fear of God and in an almost manic glee nodded violently and... I think 'she' hustled me? Anyway, she tricked me at the very least and got me to agree to the last bit... which is what I truly regret most...

"Aaaaand, as your Duty as a Mew, you can watch over this one chosen one I've taken a liking to! I know you'll have a blast with him!"

Butter wouldn't melt in 'her' mouth folks. Mostly because she's a ghost, but semantics.

Even then I could see the gears turning in Arceus' head and 'him' practically thinking 'So that's your game'. Unfortunatly, in my desire to actually enjoy the 'dream' before I 'woke up' I ignored that and simply agreed when he asked if I did so.

Looking back, I think he might have actually been a little bit satisfied with how my new Life turned out...

"Very well." He finally said. "A new Mew is born today. Mew, do you accept your duty as the Guardian of the Chosen One?"

You would think with how official that statement was that it would give me pause. You would be wrong...

"Yup! Totally! Can I get to the fun already?! Usually in Pokemon I just have to tell Oak if I'm a boy or a girl... this is nuts!"

Despite everything and all of my regrets, I am honestly proud to say that I managed to confuse three gods and make one laugh manically with that statement. Once she stopped laughing, Giratina cut in with a final: "Well, at least your 'starter' is already chosen for you!"

My look of total relief just set her off again. Strange to see a giant flying dragon writing in laughter floating through the void.

What happened next was what Finally convinced me I wasn't dreaming... but I suppose that with how dense I was being I sort of deserve my 'fate'...

Anyway, Arceus drew attention to himself again and with an air of mild satisfaction, the plates that were slowly orbiting him came to encircle me.

"I am afraid that this may hurt a bit. There was a reason I tried to convince you to stay human you know..."

I wish I could say I blacked out again, I really do, because it would mean I wouldn't remember the pain of having my very soul being changed from 'human shaped' to 'Mew shaped'. There are no words to do it justice, so I will leave it at a simple: I Really advise you don't do it.

When the change was finally finished and I was both in too much pain to move and far too tired to even consider doing so, the final statement from Arceus was drilled into my very soul.

"Watch over, guide, and protect Ash Ketchum however you see fit Little Mew. That is your Duty."

Of course only THEN do I finally got the relief of unconsciousness.

* * *

I'm too bloody tired to continue for today... I'll write about what I did once I woke up tomorrow... but as a final set of comments:

Not having Thumbs sucks.

Being a Legendary Sucks, at least when I can't use any of my special powers yet. If I had to guess, I'm a level 1 Mew who knows Pound. Joy.

I managed to steal this Journal turned Diary from a kid's backpack while I was sneaking through town, so I can at least chronicle my adventures to share later if /when I get home.

If anyone is reading this, then shame on you! This is private! Actually, if you can actually read my paw-writing, then Please HELP ME!

...

I just realized, I got stuck watching over Ash Ketchum.

This is going to suck. This is Really REALLY going to suck.

-There is an Inked Paw-print at the end of the page-

* * *

A/N:

Hello! I was joking about writing this for a while, but darn it! It just would NOT leave me alone! I'm terribly sorry to everyone waiting for the first real chapter of 'A Frozen Shard of Pottery', but this would Not leave me alone until I wrote it! I have about 5-6k words of the first chapter for that story written, but It needs polish. Hoping to get it out this week...

The idea came about from a few different sources, but largely form a conversation I had with an author on here (Sorry that I can't remember who!). Our young Mew 'Hero' is sort of based off my personality, much to my embarrassment. I hate self-inserts, but I had to pick a starting personality to wildly deviate from, and there are few I know better than my own after all...

This might seem familiar to my A/N from my Frozen Shard of Pottery fic, but there are a few directions I can take this fic:

- Silly-Mode. This direction involves the shenanigans of a Canon Ash Ketchum in a Canon Pokemon Anime world. Would involve the idiot Ash from Canon and how Mew would be directing him from behind the scenes in secret and saving his butt from a ton of threats he never knows about.

- Hard-Mode. This one involves a Canon Ash Ketchum in what is more essentially a Pokemon Origins or the Manga world. Its a lot more brutal, a lot darker, and a LOT harder on Mew. This one would NOT be funny. It would be fairly dark for Mew while it tries to make the world seem more like the anime for Ash. There some would be deaths in this one.

- Medium-Mode. This one has a divergent Ash that Starts out as canon Ash, but would be lead to be more like Red by Mew over time. Manga/Origins World. Still fairly dark, but not Nearly as harsh on poor Mew.

- Nightmare-Fuel. I don't particularly want to do this one... but it also calls to me... This would be the equivalent of the Pokemon Origins/Manga's 3 on the brutality scale cranked up to 11. Some Pokemon would actively hunt humans, attack them, eat them, and overall everything would be FUBAR and be a rude RUDE awakening for Mew. I remember that there is a Fanfic somewhere on this site that has this level of Brutality in pokemon, but I cannot remember it's name. Lots of death, both Human and Pokemon alike.

- Special Pikachu Edition! This could be amusing. Basically Mew replaces Pikachu by transforming into one. Ash has no clue and might never find one. It Would explain why a bloody Pikachu can take on legendaries though...

- Ditto Edition! Same as above, but in this one Mew turns into a Ditto! Professor Oak takes Ash's desire to be a Pokemon master more seriously and hunts for a Ditto for Ash as his starter, because after-all, if you can beat a trainer with their own Pokemon, by knowing them better than their own trainer? That takes some serious master level knowledge. Literally Requires a smarter Ash from the get-go.

let me know what you think! Is it too silly to continue? Does it look like it could be fun? What path do you want?

It would all be written in a Journal Format by the way, because that is the one I'm trying out for this fic. Good, Bad?

As always, Looking forward to input! HLR


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